God.

God a tertiary figure? Yep, afraid so, for now. Forever? Well, that remains to be seen, a tale at present untold. Such blasphemy alone will stop some from reading….that would be a shame, since God does seem to thread this whole novel, and some will read more or less of him, or her, between the pages than others, because the question of faith, and what it really means, will be…well…questioned. For C, as a young boy, it simply meant a small miracle unfulfilled – a tiny cup of clear water never turned blue, which lost him forever…C wrote Him off for life.

It.

The briefest of mentions for the most important character ever…that statement cannot be emphasized enough. It is neither benevolent, nor malevolent, for they are simply human constraints that It does not understand, acknowledge or abide by. It is the glue that binds all, for no other reason than to ensure the game is played – and the game exists for reasons we will never understand, nor are meant to. The game exists simply to be played; It ensures same. And It scares the living shit out of Cord…rightfully so.

Crickets & Flies.

The undercard for the puppet…a forever-stain living in C’s brain with no way out.

Jenny.

No, not the artist, although her words, bastardized over many years due to a faulty memory, fuel the tune the mysterious woman in C’s head whispers soft whenever it is time, and when it is ready, for the box to be opened once again…and the game plays on.

A Bloodied Young Boy at the Boat Ramp.

A brief encounter with C at a critical time that answers key questions and begets many more. If you don’t get the significance of this young man, then simply put the novel down and walk away.

Mom & Dad.

Quietly conserved in a cold, distant and lonely mausoleum, fancy caskets set atop a ball-bearing cushion – easy to move – but never will…slowly rotting away, formaldehyde-infused in their best-dressed, visited seldom, soon to be never, in one, at best two, generations hence. Then forgotten forever, like those who passed before them, an endless line of silent sentries. Sad, necessary and the fate that ultimately awaits us all. What’s the fucking point?

Herring Gull.

A tragic death on a dreary New Years Day, on a dead end at the water’s edge – Edgartown, Martha’s Vineyard. A single magical feather…C’s memento mori, to be passed along to one, and then another…quite a story for a little ice skater who meets the man of her dreams.

Jonesy.

A very special Panamanian pickled lizard – courtesy of an unattended Champagne bottle, who has a profound impact on Earl, and future trips beyond the limits of the Gill Farm. Interesting name, the origin that is. Maybe you’ll figure it out along the way.

Fred The Pig.

It doesn’t get much sadder than this; poor Fred…poor Earl – and sorry that such things have to happen in this world. Best to get through this section and forget it ever occurred – not easy to do for most. But some will simply shrug their shoulders and say: who gives a shit about a fucking pig? Which is why this happens.

Elmire.

Sam’s loving, and long-dead, wife. Growing up, she was a shy, Harmony Township farm-girl and tomboy; she loved animals and basketball, in that order. Died in 1990, after a long battle with myeloma.

C.J. Hammer.

“The Hammer”…and childhood best friend of Button Pierce, his ever-present sidekick. A forever-crush on Lilly all his short life, which he dared never act on, and a frequent rider, with Button, on Shades of Death Road. More of his story must be read to be revealed.

Rose Pierce.

Butt-ugly dead sister of Button; how? Don’t know. Followed Button with a shovel; you’ll understand what this means later.

Vincent Van Gogh.

The man himself….in this novel? Yes, and not in a good way. Lilly doesn’t remember him, but rather one his minor sketches…Sorrow. It is what they will forever share.

John Ray.

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword; Lillian Liddell personified, thanks to Mr. Ray.

Willem Buytewech.

A long-dead Dutch artist; Dignified Couples Courting – a riddle from C to Carol, the live one.

Marcella Sparks.

A Belvidere Cemetery resident, and a fake – a red herring of sorts, but an important clue nonetheless to help C find Carol. And it worked…all Marcella had to do was hide in the grass to reveal the secret.

Giant Land Tortoise.

A memory C would like to forever forget.

Ken & Sandy.

The Holt and Allen boys, teenage crime-solving wizards who tool around Skeleton Island, searching for secrets and dodging the bad guys, to the utter amazement of their number one fan….Earl Liddell, who is convinced there is a strange face in the cloud and he himself is peeking out of the tiny cabin window on the end-pages. Sound strange? It certainly is.

Winston & Julia.

Doomed denizens of the year 1984; an infamous couple that were forever-travelers by C’s side. We are the dead applies to them all, as Cord tries to save Julia from a horrible fate, always in vain, the outcome forever ordained. There is no other door to choose from.

A Very Special Unicorn.

Yeah, we know Pegasus is not a unicorn, but to a little girl, and the grown woman she becomes, he is, and always will be, waiting patiently for her above that special clock, leaping out of that gorgeous ever-lit night sky.

The Blob.

Indescribable! Indestructible! Nothing Can Stop It! The Blobfest in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania has been on Earl’s calendar for years – and 2006 is the year it get crossed off! Unless someone, or something, upsets those plans. Now what will it be?

Atlas & Prometheus.

Two silent friends, met along the way, beside the path, during a very special birthday conte.

Godzilla.

Earl feels bad every time- the ending never changes; why couldn’t they just leave him alone.

Little Apple Creek.

Meandering there and about in the middle of nowhere, beside Route 55. It means something to Carol, but she’s just not sure what, and definitely means a lot more to Cord, but he’s not talking. This doesn’t get resolved, just to tip our hand.

Couch Rock.

There is only one Couch Rock in the whole wide world, and only Earl knows where it is! No girls allowed!

The Big Crack.

Only Earl knows where it is…but his mother whispers to him that someone else needs to see it too, for later.

The Big Hill.

Where that sneaky T-Rex always seems to peek from, watching Earl, who is gonna be dinner!

The Boat Ramp.

It doesn’t get much more important than this place, nondescript in appearance, but far from same on so many levels. You will be visiting here often, both good and bad, whether you want to, or not.

The Courthouse Park.

Carol’s safe little island in a sea called Belvidere.

The Foul Rift.

Sounds strange; you will learn of this reach of river – even if it is best left alone.

The Zombie Cave.

Not a cave, and not a one, but actually two…where the zombies live, of course, according to more than just Earl.

Depue Street.

Bad things happen here…bad and sad, all rolled into one.

Nonpareil/The Palace of Sweets.

The center of the universe downtown for our cast of characters…much happens in, above and about this place. You will come to know it well.

Sam’s Market.

Adjacent to Nonpareil, and the second nucleus for our cast of characters. In a way, it is where it all begins, at least for C.

Harvey.

An obnoxious flamer and proud of it. A kick-boxing phenom who frequents Lilly’s class, to everyone’s disdain, raising the workout bar to heights few can match. No one can out-kick Lilly…except Harvey, which drives Lillian wild. C decides to try his first kick-box class and who is standing in the front row? So bad for C…but much worse for Harvey.

Vinny & Tommy.

Two delinquent teenagers, instigators, friends of Bucks, who have a rather unfortunate encounter with C early on. Tommy, the oaf fades away, but Vinny, ever the little-shit, can’t seem to learn the lesson…little shits rarely do.

Stinky-Steve.

A recurring figure, haunting C, or not. You decide.

Jim-Bob.

A squirrely penguin-walking gossiper, who always seems to be doing nothing, but walking about Town with his hands ever in his pockets. Talks to people who would rather run away; crosses paths with C more than once, and never in a good way.

Linda.

The cute 18-year old that works behind the candy counter at Nonpareil/the historic Palace of Sweets. A generally happy girl who C tips generously and would love to bend over the table, with her panties around her ankles. Yeah, C is a dog…that becomes a well-established fact.

Mrs. Ackerman.

One of those seniors with a huge belly set atop toothpick legs. One of Mae’s crew from Brookfield – they shop together at Sam’s.

Marty’s Dad.

Yep, he’s Marty’s dad. He’s a decent, quiet farmer, but what he does, or rather fails to do, is certainly regrettable, for his son’s sake.

Susan.

One-half of the cod-fish twins; works the register, barely awake, at Sam’s. Pretty at times, with a sexy little belly; the sisters provide a memorable dance, and quite the show, at the Log Cabin.

Sheldon Smillie.

An old chain-smoking lush, with a beer paunch, flat-assed, with baggy pants – a disheveled mess. Always seemingly tired, he runs Smillie’s Taxi Service; a single car ‘fleet’ – an ’84 Country Squire rust bucket with a big yellow smiley face planted on the simulated wood side door panels. An early food encounter with C…and possibly a much more important one to follow. But will he deliver? Time will tell.

Lloyd.

A slightly off-kilter Belvidere cop, with anger issues, who makes a critical kill, very late in the game. Or was it? Not really. Sad is all it was, from all angles. But maybe not, in the end.

Walt.

Margery’s powerlifting, muscle-head squeeze, dare we say fiance, at least for a short while. Walt wastes what he has, and then wants what he can’t. Typical guy…they never learn.

State Troopers – Brookfield Call for Help.

The unlucky duo called for a nasty break-in at Mae’s, and encounter C and Tool Box Joe…the results aren’t easy on the eyes.

Button’s Dad.

We don’t hear much out of him, other than a hunting partner of Button, that beat the snot out of him as a kid.

Joe Rydell.

Now 75, if not dead; a White Township dairy and corn farmer who sold the land to create Brookfield, the senior community of Mae and her peers. At the earlier age of 50 or so had the pleasure of witnessing Lilly’s virginity slip away in one of his hay wagons, in a distant hayfield, courtesy of one Button Pierce.

The Gills.

The owners of the family farm that has lots of cow manure and a distant stone row, along the far field, which marks the end of Earl’s world.

Mrs. Webber.

Tiny, no-nonsense teacher with a bit part from Lilly’s school days. Don’t ever give pop quizzes to Lilly.

Ryan & Tommy.

The Episcopalian priest and his partner, who loop the Park every morning and wave to Carol and her cats….one of the few that Carol can call friends in her little western outpost.

Mr. Boeman.

The former tenant in C’s third floor apartment; Earl used to watch his cats and he watched up Lilly’s skirt – according to Lilly, anyway, of course. Earl still has his key, which is now C’s key, which really doesn’t matter because…well, you’ll see.

Mr. Beaumont.

Sold the house on the Park to Carol Crowe and retired to Marco Island, Florida. Was a veterinarian and ran his business out of the house; many an animal died in that place – their ghosts haunt Carol’s house, according to Earl.

Greg.

A good-looking State Trooper who lives in Belvidere and knows Lilly…that’s about all she wrote on that one. Pretty boring.

Gail.

A single mention on a single page as a tribute to a Parkside friend from what seems a former life. What a shame that friendship died on the vine.

Fat Ass Jane.

Literally a large-assed quidnunc about Town that makes everyone else’s business her own, and rarely gets the story right. A brief passing here and there, thank God.

Arlene Schelling.

Defending rose champion – Class 16 – Perennial Category…Mae kicks her ass, but good!

Anonymous Shopper in Sam’s.

Wow, this is one of the briefest of brief mentions in a too-long tome – a single line in a 2,800+ page novel: a scared woman fleeing Sam’s at the first sign of trouble. Nonetheless, it has huge implications – she will be a primary player in a future iteration – but not Book No. 2…she won’t emerge from the pages to tell her story until Book No. 3…if that novel ever comes to pass. The author hopes it does, and you get to hear her conte.

Selena Sellwood.

This time around she is truly a tertiary character, but an important one nonetheless. She will, however, become a primary player in a teaser, bonus prequel at the end of Book No. 2. Selena is a light-skinned black, thin and sinewy, with frizzy hair and an ever-tired look; but she has a beautiful smile, when she shows it, which is seldom – but that is to be expected. She’s English, from London – Cord meets her six years earlier, and with whom had quite the conte, a bit unbelievable, but then again, isn’t the whole first tale in Book No. 1 presented herein a bit unbelievable as well? Maybe not, at least from the character's perspective. And what exactly is written on that scrap of paper that Lilly saw Selena slip to C on the sidewalk in front of Nonpareil? Ah, that is for you to figure.

Dr. Pool, Black Dog, Mr. Chills, Burr & Bogs.

Associates of Button’s from the ‘suburbs’ of Philadelphia, better known as Camden. Button (Billy Bones to the crew of The Drin) and Dr. Pool have history – time served in the Marines…but the others? Well let’s just say there’s a bit of racial friction. Nothing more can be said about same at this time, except…not good. This violence gets mighty ugly.

Brick.

A monster of a man, in a dark suit, dark shades, dark skin. Few words and bad intent. An employee of Carol, as necessary. And for this night, it is very necessary.

Mrs. Gregson.

Earl’s infamous second-grade teacher, who had a special relationship with her favorite shy student. She is the source of Earl’s god-awful Gregson-glasses – the constant bane of Lilly’s life whenever the daily mail arrives.

The Twins & Their Mother.

Okay, the twins are cute six-year-olds that briefly run into Earl and Lilly; how and where you will learn, eventually, but nonetheless, it is a nice little gift. But their mom? Oh, their mom…that is a whole different level of importance. A missed encounter of the utmost import, which would have changed the storyline in unfathomable ways. Again, when the twins and their mom arrive, we trust, we hope, this will all make sense. If not, again, put the book down and walk away.

Patricia.

An impromptu meeting at the most famous skating rink in the world changes this little girl’s life forever. A beautiful, sad tale of promises fulfilled, unfulfilled, and the power of little girl dreams, even when they aren’t so little anymore. Sad.

Joan Jett.

Ah, Earl’s go-to girl…at least for ’80’s music videos. I Love Rock N’ Roll and Joan, and Carol, in skin-tight-reds. A party to remember; an ending to forget.

Santa.

“Be Good Brother”…wise words, spoken in a whisper ocean-side, from a very special Fort Lauderdale bum – C’s best Christmas present ever, bar none. Was he really Santa, or Earl’s father…or both…or neither. At some point, this will make sense. A Pretty Blonde In A Forest-Green Jaguar: The Boys of Summer lilting on the radio, a beautiful sunny day on Swamp Road, C driving, her asleep beside him…an important squeeze at the time, her name long-since forgotten…one of many before, and many to follow. Such was the drill.

A Brother & Two Blow-Pigs.

An older brother and two St. Charles whores; one as hairy as an orangutan, the other with saggy cowbells and a fine gold tooth. All three are best forgotten, and none-too-soon. Good God, bleach my eyes.

Deward.

A Manhattan artist of dubious talent and former boy-toy of Carol Crowe, who has, let’s just say, a memorable introduction to Belvidere…and one Lillian Liddell.

Monsieur Roy.

The diminutive European chap, fond of cucumber sandwiches, stationed in the Midwest, who is an important caretaker to a primary character’s prized possession, to be revealed later in the play. That’s all that can be leaked at this juncture – you’ll need to figure out this one on your own.

William ‘Bud’ Wiseman.

A well-preserved 62-year old Jewish billionaire in New York City; main potential investor in Carol’s newly minted Brownfield Fund – talks with a nasal bleat. He likes Carol, her smarts, and her looks, but is a high maintenance client, with a fat wallet and a short temper.

Loe Bryson.

A good-looking wrestling stud, but dumb as a stump, albeit courteous and polite. Likes to fuck too. Had sex with a secondary character as a kid; into the Navy later in life. Can’t say much more about Loe without giving it away…let’s just say the story is pretty fucked up, and Loe was one lucky dog, for a bit, anyway.

Mrs. C.

A chance encounter in Grand Central Station with the boys changes her life forever; why can’t it simply last?

Marek.

Or if you prefer, Marco. What a beautiful body, a beautiful face – a stunner. A Grand Central Market purchase changes his life, and hers, but for how long? That, dear reader, you will have to figure on your own.

StoryCorps Guy.

Keep the headphones off guy! And don’t believe all the stories you hear, even though they may very well all be true. A little conte in the Biltmore Room.

Viper Two Strike Force.

Security Management Consultants for Freedom; Viper One – Juanita and Viper Two – Ricky, a tactical duo and patriots for freedom- protecting America, one parking garage at a time, in ways only they can understand – until they are summarily undone – laid bare by a primary character. This is not what you imagine – trust us on this one.

Joy.

Girlfriend of C’s brother – four decades ago. C liked her – one of the few he ever did. Not much more to say about that stray snipped from C’s past.

Father Cryan.

A Catholic priest from C’s childhood, with the baggage that is typically associated with it…enough said.

Dr. Diane Brukardt.

The doctor who delivers unwelcome news to our friend…Billy Bones. Not good.

The Delivery Man.

An imposing silent figure, clad in black shades; the bearer of a single blank envelope, in which is a typed note and $10,000 in cash, looking for a little boy named Earl, who isn’t so little himself.

A Shoe Tree and a Halloween Sycamore.

Two very special trees that beckoned Carol Crowe to a strange little place called Belvidere.

Prized Peonies.

And the ants that climb aboard the yet unopened flowers. Just leave them alone Mae!

The Felines Of L’antre du Lion.

An octet of strays that weave in and out of the novel, lounging in luxury at Carol’s L’antre du Lion. If you are a cat-person, you will love them; if you are not a cat-person, become a cat-person…but don’t dare skip those parts – important stuff is certainly mixed in – things you need to know. You’ve been warned.

Louie The Lobster.

Earl’s seventh-best-friend, or so, always sliding south in that respect. A poor, oversized lobster forever stuck in the A&P lobster tank…spared the boiling pot because of Earl. But is it such a gift? Louie and two cell-mates play a far more important role than imagined for a lobster…a read deep into the series is necessary to find out why.

The Crew Waiting In Panama.

Dozens of lazy Panamanian pelicans, perched in trees downtown – waterside, followed by Bocas Del Toro roosters in the streets, spiny lobster and little blue fish called Earl, circling a conical coral outcrop below an over-the-water hut, all awaiting the arrival of our kindred spirits.

The Belvidere Vulture.

There are many about Belvidere, but then there is one that is a bit special…this is that one. Perched atop the Methodist steeple, our friend is a portent of things to come, and welcome, they are probably not.

Smoke.

Button’s faithful hunting dog. What will happen when his hunting days are over; we hope for the best.

T-Rex.

The Room 101 of Earl’s childhood, and not-so childhood nightmares…always on a constant prowl and growl. Scary for sure, but morphing into something much different in a remote red barn. To be revealed in a very bad stretch of novel, soon to be good.

Elephants.

Not just any elephants, but the only ones C knew…in the Madikwe Game Reserve, South Africa, in the northwest province, near the Botswana border.

A Single Flying Ant.

A female, of course; saved by Cord, but not really. The story of his life.

Bumblebees.

Great for petting, because they are too busy working to notice! So says Earl. And Carol listens.

Barn Cat.

Has the misfortune of meeting a 6-year old psychotic named Button and becomes the beginning entry of a little black book. We would suggest skipping this section.

Spiders, Ticks & Skeets, Oh My!

According to Earl, beware of them along the Blue Trail, not the Orange Trail C, the Blue Trail, they’ll get ya! Along with the sneaky rocks, roots, and other sneaky sneaks…run fast!

Boat Ramp Mallard.

Not quite quick enough to escape an ugly encounter between Button and Cord; not a good ending, which ends with a question, rather than an answer.

Seattle Worms.

And all the rest, scattered about the globe; Cord’s small attempt at redemption, over and over and over again. Will it ever succeed?

Catch-All.

Believe it or not, there are those we failed to mention – this is our sorry tribute to them. You will meet them along your journey, and there is certainly more than one we missed.